


Letting Go

by dnkshot



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Goodbyes, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:27:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23590807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dnkshot/pseuds/dnkshot
Summary: In which Jaehyun goes to his childhood house one last time.orJaehyun has to sell his childhood home after his mom dies, and spends one last day there saying goodbye.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, this is a very short fic of Jaehyun letting go of his childhood home after his mom dies, I wrote it at 1 am as a birthday gift for someone who means the world to me.

✧༺♥༻∞ ∞༺♥༻✧

Jaehyun walked through the empty halls of his childhood home, taking in the now empty house. It felt weird, almost foreign. Being in a house he knew so well, that he grew up in, with it now empty.

As he walked down the hall he let the memories flood over him, taking him back to a time when things were simpler.

_It was Jaehyun's 7th birthday, there was screaming and children running all over, but Jaehyun was sitting at the kitchen table eating his cake. Johnny came up to him, he was 9 already so Jaehyun looked up to him._

_"Jae, why aren't you playing with us?" Johnny sat next to Jaehyun, resting his head on his palm._

_"My dad used to always sit down with me and eat a piece of cake on my birthday, so i'm doing that," Jaehyun nodded his head toward a picture frame that held a picture of his dad._

_Jaehyuns dad had died a few months ago, getting into a really bad car accident where they rushed him into the hospital. Yet, after going through emergency surgery he didn't make it._

_"I'll eat the cake with you then Jae, it can be our tradition now," Johnny smiled as he took Jaehyun's fork and took a bite out of the cake._

_Jaehyun's mom watching from the corridor, happy to know that at the age of 7, her son had such a caring friend._

Jaehyun let out a sigh, he was only 6 when his dad had passed, but he still loved and missed him deeply.

He walked into his mom's old office, turning on the light to see the room emptied out. Slowly, he walked into the middle of the room. He took a deep breath in, trying to smell the cinnamon scent the room was always filled with, just one last time.

_Jaehyun was 16, Doyoung 15, and they were trying to get Jaehyun's moms printer to work._

_"Dumbass, you aren't connected to the printer," Doyoung rolled his eyes and he took the mouse from Jaehyun's hand, clicking on a few things. A few moments later the printer buzzed to life and started to print out their essays._

_"How the hell will you be able to do anything without me?" Doyoung turned to face his best friend._

_"Maybe you'll just have to be by my side forever," Jaehyun winked, grabbing the papers as they finished and spinning on his heel to leave._

_"I don't wanna be with you forever, you're too annoying!" Doyoung followed after his friend._

_"I think that you'll change your mind," Jaehyun said from over his shoulder._

Doyoung did. He changed his mind when he was 17 and Jaehyun 18. They were in Jaehyun's room when he started it. That he had loved his friend in a non-platonic way.

_"Jaehyun, remember when I told you I didn't want to spend forever with you?" Doyoung was laying on Jaehyuns floor, the older was going through his clothes, trying to find a shirt to wear for tonight's party._

_Johnny was throwing it, a goodbye party for him, he would be going there to study for a few years._

_"Yeah, of course I do. You also called me a dumbass for not connecting the printer that day," Jaehyun smiled at the memory, already missing the day when Doyoung would act so playful with him._

_The past few months his friend had been acting strange around him. Colder and more distant. Joking around less and less._

_"I think I changed my mind," Doyoung whispered it, scared to say it louder._

_"You did? What do you wanna spend eternity laughing at me?" Jaehyun smiled and he pulled out a t-shirt, throwing it on quickly._

_"I want to spend eternity loving you, kissing you, being yours," Doyoung squeezed his eyes shut after he spoke, already regretting the words he had let slip._

_"Doyoung..." Jaehyun stood there, in shock._

_"No, you don't have to say it. I'm sorry, i'll go to Taeyongs and get a ride from him to Johnny's party," Doyoung got up and started to walk to the door, embarrassed of what he said._

_"Doyoung wait," Jaehyun grabbed his best friend's wrist, making the boy spin to face him, his face bright red._

_"Jaehyun, really it's ok," Doyoung smiled softly, his eyes tearing up._

_"Doyoung, I want to spend eternity with you too," Jaehyun whispered, softly kissing his friends forehead, "I've wanted to be with you since i was 15 and you were 14, I just didn't know if you wanted the same," Jaehyun starred his best friend in the eyes, still in shock that his friend had confessed._

_Doyoung was the one who initiated that kiss, and the many ones after. Doyoung was the one who asked Jaehyun to be his boyfriend, but it was Jaehyun who proposed._

Jaehyun walked out of his mom's old office, shutting off the light and closing the door. He looked back into his old room again, smiling as he let the memories flow through his head.

The memories of him and Taeyong painting the walls, Yuta crawling into the window, a bag of fast food in his mouth. Him telling Mark to confess to Renjun, Renjun telling Jaehyun thank you for yelling at Mark.

Memories of him and Johnny, him and Doyoung. Memories of him with all his friends. Lastly, the memories of him with his mom.

He had refused to believe she was gone for the first week following her death, she had lung cancer and was doing treatments for it but it was just spreading way too fast.

He came to her house, his childhood home, crawled into her bed and laid there, feeling numb.

He wished he could have saved her.

_Jaehyun had been laying in his mom's bed for hours, not moving. He hasn't answered his phone or ate or even taken off his shoes. He just sped over and crawled into her bed._

_Hoping that she'd come home for work and see him there, call him silly and yell at him to take off his shoes. When he did she'd crawl into bed by him, so that they were facing each other, and ask what was wrong._

_"the doctors told me you were gone," he would have said, with a dry laugh, "but I knew they were lying,"_

_That was when Johnny walked into the room, he saw his friend laying there and crawled up next to him. Taking the spot his mom would have._

_"Jaehyun, have you eaten?"_

_That was all it took, Jaehyun. looked into his friends eyes and started to sob, Johnny pulled him into a hug. He didn't lie and say it would be ok, didn't say she was in a better place, or with his dad now. He just held Jaehyun as he cried._

_When he was done, he took his hand and walked him into the kitchen, cooking him eggs and pancakes._

_Soon his other friends and his boyfriend were there. Mark, Donghyuck, Renjun, Taeyong, Yuta, Jungwoo, Sicheng, Doyoung, Taeil and Jeno._

_They sat around his mom's living room, not talking but just enjoying the company. It was a really hard idea to grasp. Jaehyun's mom was gone, but they all helped Jaehyun and each other through it._

Jaehyun walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Johnny stood. He let out a deep sigh and approached his friend.

"It's weird, seeing this place empty," Johnny spun around, it was weird. Way too weird for Jaehyuns liking.

"Hopefully the next family decorates it well," Jaehyun sighed. He walked over to the glass doors and walked into the backyard.

He saw Doyoung laying in the grass, their dog sitting next to him. He walked over to Doyoung, petting their dog when he arrived.

"You know, the day that she found out we were dating, she took me out here. We sat right here and talked," Doyoung smiled a little.

"Yeah, I was in the kitchen freaking out, I stressed cooked and cleaned because of you two," Jaehyun laughed, sitting down next to Doyoung.

_Doyoung looked back at Jaehyun and sent him a scared smile as he followed Jaehyun's mom into the yard._

_"Jaehyuns had it hard, as i'm sure you know," she smiles at Doyoung, "please... make sure he's always happy. Don't let him be too hard on himself. Don't let him blame himself for things that aren't his fault."_

_"I won't, I will spend every day making sure he knows that he isn't to blame for everything that goes wrong and that he is loved and worth it," Doyoung smiled, thinking about his boyfriend, "I love him, and i'll make sure he knows that."_

"We didn't talk about much, after she made me promise a few things we talked about how we got together, then about our friendship and our other friends. We talked about you and how great you were, it was nice," Doyoung plucked a flower from the yard.

"That's nice to know," Jaehyun laughed slightly, before reaching his hand out for his fiancée to grab.

When they were both standing, Jaehyun placed a sweet soft kiss on Doyoungs lips. The two stood there, kissing in the middle of Jaehyun's childhood home's backyard. Their dog lay next to them, the house completely empty and Jaehyuns parents gone. It seemed that Jaehyun should be upset, crying or not angry, anything but happy.

But how could he be angry when he was with the love of his life, ready to start a new chapter in his life.

"Can you two stop kissing and come eat?" Mark shouted from the porch, making the two boys laugh, they walked hand in hand into the house, their dog following along.

"How much longer until the wedding?" Renjun asked when they walked in. All their friends were there, eating fried chicken.

"A month," Jaehyun smiled brightly, "Then we go to Hawaii for a week."

"Then i can call the dumbest boy ever my husband," Doyoung rolled his eyes, "Jeno, how's school going?"

Jeno, Renjun, Donghyuck and Mark were the only ones still in college. Mark in his last year, the other three just a year behind him.

"It's going good, my annoying boyfriend finally lets me do my homework," Jeno winked and Donghyuck, who rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"As soon as you graduate you can work with me," Taeil smiled. Taeil owned a small dance studio, and really wanted Jeno to work there.

"Maybe I will," Jeno sighed, "Maybe when Mark signs under Taeyong."

"Hey! I'm still thinking about it," Mark protested. Taeyong owned an entertainment industry and Mark was a really talented rapper. Everyone wanted him to make his debut.

"Renjun, convince your boyfriend, _please,_ " Taeyong pleaded with his eyes.

They continued their conversation, talking about school and work and relationships. They finished eating and cleaned up, Jaehyun knew what came next.

"I just.... let me take one last walk around here," Jaehyun felt his eyes tear up, his friends slowly nodding and walking out, saying they'll be in the driveway when he was ready.

Jaehyun looked around the kitchen once more. Letting out a heart broken noise, finally accepting that it was time to let go of the house. He sat down by the sink, letting the tears take over.

Doyoung was the one who came in and sat with Jaehyun, just letting him cry. When Jaehyun was ready they walked out. they all stood behind him as he locked the door for the last time, and as he walked down the driveway for the final time.

They said their goodbyes, slowly leaving one by one. Then it was just Jaehyun, Doyoung and their dog left.

"I can't believe she's gone, that the house is gone...." Jaehyun stared at the house.

"I know, it's weird to think about it being gone," Doyoung smiled softly staring at the house. It had become his second home at one point.

"I can't tell if i'll miss the house because i grew up there or because it was hers," Jaehyun turned to look. at Doyoung, smiling a little, "I hope the next owner takes great care of it," Jaehyun walked over to the car, opening the back for their dog to get in. After she was in he got into the passenger's seat, Doyoung walked over to the drivers side and got in.

"Im sure the next family will love it too, i'm sure they'll have a son and he'll forget to connect his computer to his printer and sneak friends in at 3 am to eat fast food. I'm sure that he'll cause a lot of trouble and be an absolute dumbass too," Doyung squeezed Jaehyun's hand as he started the car, "And i'm sure he'll love the hiding hole you made in the closet."

Doyoung drove off as Jaehyun laughed, remembering how he put the hole there to hide presents from his mom. Then his eyes widened.

He didn't check the hole.

"Doyoung, I forgot my wallet, can we go back?" Jaehyun lied to Doyoung, who nodded and turned the car around.

When they parked Jaehyun jumped out of the car promising he'd be back in a second. He ran up into his old room and threw the closet door open.

He got onto the floor, his heart beating way too fast to be healthy. His fingers grasped the edge of the cut out piece of wall and he pulled it off.

He fumbled to grab his phone, quickly turning on the flashlight and looked into the hole. Sitting at the back was a small box and a piece of paper.

Jaehyun grabbed them and put the wall back into place, he stared at the familiar black box as he sat there, squished into his childhood room's closet.

_It was a few months before his mom died, and they were cleaning Jaehyun's closet._

_"I really wish you didn't have that stupid hiding spot, it makes the closet look bad," his mom sighed._

_"You know about that?" Jaehyun looked up from a box of pictures he was sorting through. He always thought his mom didn't know about the small hole he had cut into his closet._

_"Of course I know, you're not good at hiding things Hyun," she laughed a little as she turned to face her son, a small black box in her hand, "plus Johnny told me."_

_"Of course he did, he's always been a snitch," Jaehyun smiled, "what's in the box?"_

_"Oh, just something your dad left behind. I was going to give you it on your next birthday," she shrugged her shoulders a little._

_"Ah, ok," Jaehyun smiled and started going back through the pictures._

He shoved the box and letter into his pocket, promising to look at it when he got home. He walked back out into the car, leaving for real this time

✧༺♥༻∞ ∞༺♥༻✧

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I know it sucked but thank you for reading, a muchmuch longer well written fic will be up soon <3


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